Accountability

It's not a super power, but it can sure feel like it

The cliches are endless when it comes to this subject.

“Nobody is perfect,” or “Perfection is unattainable.”

The list goes on and on, I get it. We all make mistakes, daily missteps, miscalculations, and errors. Most have little to no consequence in the day to day function of our business or personal lives.

But what about when they do? What about when you make a mistake and it does have real implications on your team, a guest, or you family?

You have to own it. Not only do you have to own it, you have to really take a look in the mirror and truly understand the “why” in your decision making and really learn from your mistake. Empathy goes a long way, but without understanding and change, it’s becomes sympathy, and those are not the same.

Recently I made a decision at work that turned out to be pretty unpopular, which is something I am not used to. I was met with some constructive feedback from my team and I was admittedly not very happy with their response. My immediate reaction was a feeling of anger and betrayal and definite lack of accountability.

One of my weaknesses, that I am constantly working on, is taking constructive criticism too personal. When Nicole and I were working together a lot during the beginning of All Hail The Biscuit I was a pain in the ass. Typically she would expo and if she asked for anything corrected or replated I would act like a spoiled brat who just got his feelings hurt. I would do this while continually telling the team we are there to take care of the guest and get them whatever they need, which is exactly what she was trying to do. I was a walking contradiction, treating my wife unfairly, and making our team uncomfortable because my giant ego couldn’t handle cooking a few eggs a little longer. It sucked, and it was because of me and my lack of accountability.

Fast forward to my recent decision with the team where I simply told them something that was going to happen to them, not for them, and with no explanation of the “why. They were not happy with me, and rightfully so, I deserved their contempt. It was time to learn from my previous mistakes as a leader and prove to myself that I had grown. I talked to the team individually and expressed my feelings but also got more insight into what they were feeling and why their reaction was so much different than normal. I learned more in those discussions than any conversation we have had in the past year. I was vulnerable and honest with them, and in turn they were vulnerable and honest with me. It was enlightening to say the least.

It wasn’t just my decision, the timing, or the lack of a why. I was tired, burnt out, and letting the day to day stress get to me. I was short tempered, aggravated, and just simply not enjoyable to be around. They called me out on my bullshit, and I needed it. It was tough to hear, and probably the most important conversation I have ever had as a business owner.

I pulled them all back together and told them collectively what I was thinking about the situation, apologized for making them feel like I didn’t have their back, and that I understood why they didn’t have mine in return.

I cried. Yes, in front of my team. It’s not the first time, and probably won’t be the last. I let them down. It hurt me seeing them losing faith in me and my leadership. I promised to do better, and listen to their feedback.

It’s been a few weeks and the aftermath of this has been fantastic. I feel like it has opened up a new level of communication between us and a shared vision of where we are headed. There is a proverb that I have heard many times and only in the last couple weeks do I feel like it is starting to take hold, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”

When you create something special and hold yourself to the higher standard, you open yourself up to critical feedback, because your team expects more from you. I am thankful my team holds me to this standard and was willing to hold me accountable when I needed it most.

I always felt like I needed to be superhuman to be the best leader. Turns out I actually just needed to be human and take a look in the mirror.